"Don't provoke the provoked"

Now a days people often think by talking their heart out, they are enlightening others and sharing wisdom. In the recent times, I have come across many instances where people talk about how we should handle situations, but before doing that we should give the whole scenario a second thought. Not to mention, many of us cannot set things right in our own life. If you have ever been through some of the worst situations in life, you should know better as to how it affects your morale when someone starts teaching you the lessons in life. Everyone has his or her own reasons to be frustrated, depressed or anxious and there is always a right time to discuss about these sensitive situations. Before telling others about the do’s and don’ts in their life, we should keep in my mind about few things that we ourselves are not supposed to do!

“Do not blame”

Shedding some light on the recent incident with Yuvraj, where people pelted stones at his house clearly shows how easy is for people to blame others. Well Yuvraj might have underplayed in this match, but does it mean we have right to blame him. Blame games happen in most of our conversations. Be it about our work, relationship, finances, colleagues, friends, politicians, cricketers blaming someone else for the mistakes we make and expectations that we have is irrelevant. “If I were you I wouldn’t have done that”, we hear this from most of the people but in reality how can some else ever experience the situations that we go through! Blaming others might have many reasons, but most of us do it to have a control over others. In addition to all this has anyone ever thought about who goes through all the trauma? Or can we validate the amount of pain that they feel? On the other hand, does blaming others make things any better?

“Do not ask them to stay calm”

No one chooses to be angry or emotional, if humans can let go the temperament they have as per other's will, this world would have been a peaceful place long by now. Asking someone to relax or calm down is not always the best thing to do, even though you have good intentions behind it, it only aggravates the situation. Being happy might help people stay positive, but sometimes letting out your negative emotions is equally important because it teaches you to let go!

“Do not advice”

“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~Buddha

Often we advice people even without knowing what their situation is. Before doing so, we should perhaps ask ourselves if we have been through a similar situation and if we did how it irked us so much when someone else advised us to do things little differently. We cannot assess the depth of a problem when we are not inside the mess. Even if the problem appears to be smaller (or may be that is our assumption), the person who has to dwell with it knows how deep rooted the issue is. It may excite us to play a good counselor in someone’s life but we should realize that there is a right time for doing that.

“Do not tell them your experiences”

Sometimes when someone is telling you their problems they are probably not expecting anything back, all they want is to vent out their emotions. However, what do we like to do? Of course, we like to compare our lives and start telling them our experiences!!  When I am already feeling vulnerable, do you want to make it even worse for me? Hell Yeah! I am so self obsessed that I cannot stop talking about my problems in any given opportunity. We can empathize to some extent just by lending an ear or letting them know you don’t have anything to say giving them an opportunity to talk and let it out.

As they say, “After storm comes calm”, our brain does not have the ability to accept or understand things in a muddled state, if you wish that your words and actions should have some kind of effect on people’s mind it is better to do it when things settle down in their head not when they are already infuriated.