"Siblings" : together we play, together we stay!

Relationships of any kind have a major impact to mold us into a person that we are. However, the sibling factor plays one of the most important roles among all others.  Family is what we have and will continue to have until the last breath. While parents teach us the social norms and help us achieve our ambitions, siblings lend us the emotional support, teach us to stay strong through the difficult times and make us a better human being. Though we come out of the same womb, siblings are more like different fingers of the same hand. The chemistry we share with our siblings since the beginning lays a foundation for the future relationship. Sibling relationships may have both positive and negative effects, but at the end of the day, it is always our choice as to how we want to perceive it.

I remember during my childhood  when I told my mom that I have to go to a birthday party and my sister always wanted to come along, when I had to go to the school early and she was still getting ready; when I got a new dress for myself and she always wanted what I got. These are some of the many instances and for many reasons my sister became my competitor. It took me long to realize about the days when I lied to my mom that I was going to a nearby store but ended up going to a friend’s place. The days I made my sister wait for long hours after school just because I was playing badminton, the days when I pretended to get up early and study, but all I did was sleep with open book in my hands. She knew everything about me yet she never complained, sometimes she was even bashed for my misdoings but she never spoke a word against me. 

 It is common for siblings to have fights or misunderstandings, but siblings develop sense of vulnerability in a way what parents and friends cannot do. We may share a great rapport with our parents, but the way in which they see things is different from what we presume. As far as friends are concerned, we end up hanging out with various groups in different phases of life. However, siblings understand us more than anyone else does; they fall into a place where both parents and friends do not fit, as neither age nor phase comes into picture.

Siblings offer mental support and remain a trustworthy confidant in the hardest of situations. The interaction with siblings’, good or bad sets groundwork for our social skills with our peers. Be it negotiation, sharing, managing conflicts or understanding they teach you to create healthy relationships with the world outside our family. In a way, they develop competitiveness and inspire us to succeed. The negative aspect of sibling relation is that easily rub off the bad habits making us unknowingly end up in a bad space. Often favoritism and competitiveness also trigger attention-seeking habits that may result in inclination towards adverse behavior. Nevertheless, as I said before it is always a conscious decision on our part to tolerate the negative emotions and the stick to the brighter side of things.

In today’s world of technology, where relationships are fast losing the importance it is necessary for each of us to nourish the bonds even in adulthood. It is common among grown up individuals to lose contact with the siblings mostly because we are too absorbed by our own family responsibilities, but it is imperative to maintain the strong-sibling ties and not to get over-shadowed by other relationships. Cheers to the beautiful relation worth lifetime of memories!!!

"Don't provoke the provoked"

Now a days people often think by talking their heart out, they are enlightening others and sharing wisdom. In the recent times, I have come across many instances where people talk about how we should handle situations, but before doing that we should give the whole scenario a second thought. Not to mention, many of us cannot set things right in our own life. If you have ever been through some of the worst situations in life, you should know better as to how it affects your morale when someone starts teaching you the lessons in life. Everyone has his or her own reasons to be frustrated, depressed or anxious and there is always a right time to discuss about these sensitive situations. Before telling others about the do’s and don’ts in their life, we should keep in my mind about few things that we ourselves are not supposed to do!

“Do not blame”

Shedding some light on the recent incident with Yuvraj, where people pelted stones at his house clearly shows how easy is for people to blame others. Well Yuvraj might have underplayed in this match, but does it mean we have right to blame him. Blame games happen in most of our conversations. Be it about our work, relationship, finances, colleagues, friends, politicians, cricketers blaming someone else for the mistakes we make and expectations that we have is irrelevant. “If I were you I wouldn’t have done that”, we hear this from most of the people but in reality how can some else ever experience the situations that we go through! Blaming others might have many reasons, but most of us do it to have a control over others. In addition to all this has anyone ever thought about who goes through all the trauma? Or can we validate the amount of pain that they feel? On the other hand, does blaming others make things any better?

“Do not ask them to stay calm”

No one chooses to be angry or emotional, if humans can let go the temperament they have as per other's will, this world would have been a peaceful place long by now. Asking someone to relax or calm down is not always the best thing to do, even though you have good intentions behind it, it only aggravates the situation. Being happy might help people stay positive, but sometimes letting out your negative emotions is equally important because it teaches you to let go!

“Do not advice”

“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~Buddha

Often we advice people even without knowing what their situation is. Before doing so, we should perhaps ask ourselves if we have been through a similar situation and if we did how it irked us so much when someone else advised us to do things little differently. We cannot assess the depth of a problem when we are not inside the mess. Even if the problem appears to be smaller (or may be that is our assumption), the person who has to dwell with it knows how deep rooted the issue is. It may excite us to play a good counselor in someone’s life but we should realize that there is a right time for doing that.

“Do not tell them your experiences”

Sometimes when someone is telling you their problems they are probably not expecting anything back, all they want is to vent out their emotions. However, what do we like to do? Of course, we like to compare our lives and start telling them our experiences!!  When I am already feeling vulnerable, do you want to make it even worse for me? Hell Yeah! I am so self obsessed that I cannot stop talking about my problems in any given opportunity. We can empathize to some extent just by lending an ear or letting them know you don’t have anything to say giving them an opportunity to talk and let it out.

As they say, “After storm comes calm”, our brain does not have the ability to accept or understand things in a muddled state, if you wish that your words and actions should have some kind of effect on people’s mind it is better to do it when things settle down in their head not when they are already infuriated.